12 weeks 3 days

Well I’m still not feeling really nauseaus. I would describe it as more like a slightly unsettled stomach. Like if I don’t eat the right thing it might get a little gurgly, but other than that it’s OK for now. I suppose that is to be expected after feeling the way I did for so long. Usually when I get the stomach flu this is how I feel for a few days before things return to normal.

I’ve been pretty much able to eat normally. I didn’t make the best decion for dinner last night though: a hot brownie sundae. It didn’t make me feel gross, but it would have been better to go with my original plan for dinner which was a lemon pepper chicken breast and some mashed potatoes.

I’m having trouble sleeping soundly and sleeping at all. This has been going on since before I even knew I was pregant. I’ve been sleeping on the couch some nights because it’s a little softer than our bed, but even then I still have trouble sleeping because the dogs are kind of noisy. I tend to wake up between 3 and 5 AM most mornings and am unable to return to sleep. I can sometimes get a nap in the afternoon, but it depends on how much I do during the day.

I also feel like such a mixed bag of wants right now. I want to be able to go out and do stuff, but actually getting ready to do so and then doing it seems to exhaust me. I want people to come visit because I’m feeling a little stir crazy, but when they’re here I feel smothered and just being “on” for them is exhausting too.

I feel so bored and so boring. Last night when Stephen called I pretty much had nothing to tell him because I hadn’t really done anything. So then I feel like why would anyone want to visit me anyway? I’m the boring sick girl.

I also hate the fact that I have to have a point to everything. I can’t just talk on the phone with someone about anything. There has to be a purpose to the call. There has to be something to talk about. I start to feel awkward otherwise and so does the other person.

I guess instead of making me sick the hormones are making me extra emo today. As if you couldn’t already tell.

Update 4:00 PM
Apparently I spoke to soon and/or ate the wrong thing. I threw up my lunch at 3 PM.

I don’t think I want to eat anymore chicken for the rest of this pregnancy. I’m seriously considering becoming a vegetarian again.

A bath made me feel a little better, but I still feel like I could throw up at any moment. Ugh!

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