Even though I just posted briefly yesterday and a 24 week picture before that I feel like I haven’t really updated this thing with my latest pregnancy goings on in awhile So I’m making a list because then I can list each topic and go back and write about it so I don’t forget…
I know some of you have been dying to know how the meeting with the midwife went, what we decided etc. I’ve been sort of putting off writing about this because we really haven’t made a final decision yet. I decided to write about it today while I can still recall details of the meeting and how we felt immediately afterwards. I think we probably won’t make our final decision for another week or so. I want to have it decided before my next OB appointment which is the second week of June. That way I can be ready, if need be, to tell him.
Pardon me for being a long story teller, but I thought I should start where all this started which was before the actual midwife meeting…
Even though I was all worked up about this idea and kept saying to Stephen that I had research and stuff to back me up, I knew that he was not on board at all. In some ways right after I made the appointment with the midwife I figured that the meeting would just be a waste of her time. I knew it would take a lot to convince him that this was safe and not weird. At work he is surrounded by doctors and nurses all day so he’s a little biased to their way of doing things.
Well then Ruth & Eric came up for the weekend and Ruth brought The Business of Being Born with her. I had ordered this movie on Amazon, but I figured trying to get Stephen to watch it would be a huge task. However, I have found that Ruth has significant influential powers over her little brother and so I was pretty excited when she told me she brought the movie up because if she wanted to see it then he would at least be willing to.
After the movie we had a little discussion with them about it and then we talked a little more by ourselves before going to sleep that night. Stephen said he had a more open mind about meeting with the midwife. The movie was impactful and a perfect way to get a condensed version of the information into his head without requiring him to read a book (he is definitely not a big reader). The next day he told me that the movie got him thinking of some good questions to ask the midwife and that he was glad we were exploring other options.
So the day of the meeting rolled around. It started off a little awkward because about 2 minutes before she got there I had a little catastrophe in the kitchen so I was bleeding and Stephen was trying to get everything cleaned up. She basically walked into chaos.
She stayed and talked with us for about 2 hours. Which is the longest I’ve ever gotten to sit down and talk with anyone about my pregnancy, birth plans etc. I think the most I’ve gotten from my doctor is about 5 minutes and nurses even less. She wanted to hear all about my HG and the thyroid stuff. I had talked about it a little on the phone with her before the appointment and since our phone conversation she had done research on both problems and was able to tell me what she had found. She told us about her experience, why she became a midwife, where she went to school and tons of other stuff she had witnessed as a midwife. She answered questions before we could even ask them and gave us information we didn’t even think to ask for.
She was also familiar with my OB and had attended a birth with him. I guess he employed some techniques that he said he had learned from midwives. I found that to be an interesting tidbit.
The whole experience was really great. We both really liked her and felt so comfortable with her. After the meeting I pretty much had my mind made up that this is what I wanted to do, that it would be completely safe and she was the right person to be with me through the whole process. This is one of the first times that I really felt cared for this pregnancy by someone outside of my friends/family. After the meeting Stephen said that having a homebirth definitely deserved serious consideration and that if I already had my mind made up either way (hospital or home) that he would support me with what I wanted to do. Which was a huge change in his position.
We both decided to wait off on actually making a decision just yet and take what we saw as the next steps into exploring whether this would actually be an option for me. First was that Stephen was going to talk to some upper management people in his company to find out how we would go about getting the insurance to pay for it and authorize it. That way we wouldn’t have to get awkward with my OB and ask him to submit an authorization which he probably would have refused to do. The other step was that the midwife wanted to see copies of my last few labs so she could determine whether I was healthy enough for a home birth and because she wanted to know what my thyroid levels were at so she could know whether there were any issues that might come up from that.
Well yesterday Stephen talked to a nurse at his company that basically told him we would probably have to jump through a lot of hoops to get the birth authorized and that there is no way an OB from our medical group would submit an authorization for a home birth. This nurse also had some concerns because she said there are a few things that can go wrong in otherwise healthy pregnancies which require immediate attention and could mean life or death for me. She suggested that I would get the “best of both worlds” if I just had my baby in the hospital and hired the the midwife to be our doula (which she also does as long as you are committed to a natural birth because she’d rather be at home with her kids than watching a pregnant woman sleep after an epidural). So now of course Stephen is all, “We have to decide whether putting your life at stake is a risk we are willing to take.”
I don’t know, in some ways I’m pretty resentful of this nurse for employing the same scare tactics that bully women into getting c-sections, epidurals, Pitocin, etc. At the same time I’m like well what if I do start to bleed a whole bunch after the birth or what if I am puking so much that I get dehydrated and require an IV? So that’s when my mind being made up started to shift.
As a result I haven’t had the confidence yet to call my OB’s office and request copies of my labs. I feel like it would be something I would have no problem doing if I knew for sure that this was the route I wanted to go, but dealing with the nurses that answer the phones at my medical group is really difficult and I know I have to have confidence and conviction before I’d be able to confidently call up and go through what is sure to be a huge process with them to get copies of my labs.
So that whole thing probably could have been a single blog post in and of itself, but lucky you I am not done yet…
My Bradley book says I should be getting 100g of protein a day. Ruth had told me something similar before. And I really do try to get in protein, but I am still feeling pretty yucky and that means that high protein options usually sound pretty gross to me. All I want to eat is carbs. I have been trying to drink more milk though which has some protein and eat better breakfasts that have protein in them. It just seems so impossible to get in 100g of protein a day.
I finished Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth which was really, really good. I felt so empowered after reading it. I feel really informed about what is going to happen and I don’t really feel scared of childbirth at all.
I’ve managed to gain back 14.5 of the 22 pounds I lost in the first tri. At this rate sometimes I’m a little afraid I might wind up gaining too much weight and then have a hard time getting it back off. But then I have days like yesterday and I realize that gaining weight is a good thing at this point. Oh and seriously I don’t understand how anyone would willingly force themself to throw up in the name of weight loss. Throwing up is awful even if it is a part of my normal life now.
I still feel a lot of movement down low, but I can tell there is less power behind those movements than what I feel up by my belly button. This morning as I was waking up and just sort of still laying in bed I was getting kicked really hard by my left rib. I started to feel around my belly gently and I’m pretty sure I distinctly felt her head down low, almost wedged into the center of my pelvis. I was kind of poking it and trying to make sure that was what I was really feeling when she twisted around (spun like a top, not like a summersault). It felt sooo weird.
6. Childbirth classes
Thanks to the midwife we were able to find out about a natural childbirth instructor. Her June classes are already full and the next one doesn’t start till August which might be cutting it kind of close. She teaches right out of the book I’m reading though so I’m hoping that Stephen and I can just get started on our own. I’m also trying to still find out if there is someone else because the classes are on Tuesday nights and Stephen was planning on having a summer school class on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then we also have church on Wednesdays. So that doesn’t really leave a whole lot of room for options. He says if I can’t find anyone else then he’ll cancel his class though.
So that’s what’s going on pregnancy wise in 6 points.