Monthly Archives: June 2008
I’ve had some time to think and I’m not going to shut my blog down. It was one comment. I’m not going to let it ruin everything. I even feel kind of silly for letting it somewhat ruin my day yesterday.
It was made better though when, without even knowing about the blog incident, Stephen came home and decided to take me on a date. We saw Indiana Jones and had dinner at CPK. It was nice.
Today I should have done my 29 week belly shot, but I’ve felt pretty nauseaus all day. My stomach has been making all these gurgling noises and I’ve just been exhausted. No throwing up though so yay!
If tomorrow goes better I might do it then.
Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut.
I just can’t keep my mind off that comment though.
Here are some more thoughts…
I do agree that sometimes as I am processing research and other experiences I tend to get a little fanatical when I find my position.
I have never intended through my writing to offend anyone, make them feel that their birth/pregnancy experience was any less valid, or to make it seem like everyone who births in a hospital is bad/dumb.
I also didn’t mean to make it seem like all medicine and all doctors are bad either. Surely it could be argued that I wouldn’t have made it through my first trimester if it had not been for modern medicine and doctors.
I am one of 3 people I know that have chosen to give birth at home. I have many, many other friends that have chosen to birth in a hospital and have had very positive experiences.
I do not think that people are dumb or weak if they choose to get an epidural. Every woman is different.
Every woman has grown up differently. I don’t think you are dumb if you trust what your doctor tells you to do and trust that he has your best interests in mind. Many doctors are great and really do have their patients’ best interests in mind.
While I do think that the c-section rate in America is FAR too high, I also understand that there are very important and valid reasons for people to have their babies via c-section. Just because you have one does not mean you have failed as a woman. The important thing truly is that you and the baby are here and healthy.
As far as my birth is specifically concerned I have a few things to say as well. I made this decision based not on a celebrity fad, but on research that shows this is a safe way to have a baby.
In having our baby at home, it does not mean we are having a baby with Joe Blow off the street in backwoods conditions. My birth will be attended by a well trained and licensed midwife. She is trained to spot problems early on if something does go wrong. And if something does go wrong outside of her capability, I will go to the hospital. She carries all of the same first response stuff that is used in a hospital setting. I feel completely safe in her care.
I started this blog as a way to announce that we were pregnant, to keep family and friends updated on the pregnancy, and to process my feelings about being pregnant. I don’t think that I’ve moved away from those original intents.
However, in some ways—based on the feedback I’ve gotten in the last month or so—I wonder if it wouldn’t be best to shut this whole thing down. Or maybe just turn it into a private journal. I wonder if my thoughts and writing would be more appropriate in that setting. Perhaps what I have to say is far too private for all to read on the Internet.
Definitely some things for me to ponder.
I was asked via anonymous comment on this blog to imagine the guilt I/Stephen would feel if something unspeakable went wrong during our homebirth and the lives of either me, the baby or both were compromised. Whether we would question or think, “If only we’d gone to the hospital.”
The truth of the matter is that babies and moms die in the act of childbirth. Even in hospitals.
The United States leads the developed world in infant mortality rates. It isn’t the 1% of women having homebirths that are causing those rates to sky rocket. Other modern countries with much higher homebirth rates actually have lower infant mortality rates.
So shouldn’t the question be for Stephen and I to imagine the guilt we would feel if we went to the hospital and something went wrong?
I don’t think guilt is an appropriate reference for making a decision like this. I would obviously hope not to have a stillborn. I would obviously hope that nothing serious goes wrong in either situation. I think every pregnant woman hopes for that. But sometimes things just go wrong.
So no, I’m not going to imagine the guilt I would feel if I went to the hospital and something went wrong. I’m not going to imagine the guilt I would feel if something went wrong in the homebirth. Instead I choose to trust that in both situations everything that could have possibly been done to ensure the health and safety of me and my baby was performed.
Two nights ago I lost my Phenergan dose due to affore mentioned Floradix problem.
Last night I fell asleep early and forgot to take it.
I puked breakfast yesterday.
This morning I’ve had a piece of toast, a glass of milk and a homemade orange juice popsicle. I also made eggs with sausage, but only took one bite then gave the rest to the dogs because I knew it was going to come back up. I’m not sure the rest of my breakfast is even going to stay down at this point.
Plus Bean’s kicking the crap out of my stomach which makes me feel even more nauseated.
But it’s all in my head. I’m almost 29 weeks pregnant. I should be feeling better by now. Surely I should. And yesterday once I got my one puke out of the way I felt fine.
This is all in my head. Why can’t I just make my brain work right and tell my body that I am done with puking?
I don’t need that medicine. It’s just a stupid security blanket that I think works. It doesn’t work. I still puke even on days when I do take it.
I know this is just a mental thing. I am going to feel fine and I don’t need medicine to make that happen.
OK maybe this won’t exactly be an ode (a lyric poem typically of elaborate or irregular metrical form and expressive of exalted or enthusiastic emotion), but can I just say how much I love my midwife?
I have her cell phone number. Whenever something concerns me I can just call her and talk directly to her. Or I can leave a message and she calls me back within a couple hours.
I don’t have to deal with snarky receptionists telling me that there are more important callers and that they’ll get to me when they can.
I don’t have to show up before her all pale and sickly before she takes me seriously.
I get an answer for my problem right away. I have a new thing to try for the anemia: alfalfa plus vitamin C.
So glad I made this decision.
As you know, if you’ve been following along, my third trimester labs showed that I am slightly anemic.
My OB wanted me to take Slow-Fe iron pills. I researched them before buying and found that the side effects were constipation and nausea, two things that I don’t need more of this pregnancy. Also the absorption from pills isn’t that high.
I found an alternative iron supplement called Floradix Iron and Herbs. This product had a really high absorption rate and didn’t have the side effects of nausea and constipation. I decided to go with that instead of the pills.
Well, on the days that I’ve remembered to take this stuff I’ve had the opposite bowel problem from the pills and it was green which really freaked me out. I looked online and apparently the coloring is a common side effect of taking an iron supplement. Also, the orange juice I would take it with gave me the worst heartburn ever.
I really can’t deal with having to be 10 feet from a bathroom all day anymore. That has happened far too much this pregnancy. Plus I’m already having enough trouble trying to keep my fluid intake up.
So it looks like Floradix plus OJ is out.
When I originally told my midwife about the problem she said that it is really common to become slightly anemic for a few weeks at this point when the blood is doubling in volume and that the body tends to regulate/balance itself out all on its own.
I’m hoping to find some other alternative to solving this little problem that doesn’t involve messing with my digestive system anymore because that system is having a hard enough time already. Wish me luck.
We went to Disneyland yesterday. Rented a chair for me. I felt so much better not having to walk around in the heat. I tried one ride without it and had to leave the line because it was so hot and I almost puked. Then I got to the ice cold bathrooms and felt totally fine.
After that ride we made our way to the wheelchair station and rented one out. It was so worth it! For most of the rides in Disneyland we just got to bypass the line altogether. Stephen and our friend Marissa took turns pushing me around.
I did make friends with the Frontierland bathrooms though at the end of the day.
This was the last date we could go before our pass blockouts begin and Bean gets here.
Despite this week’s setbacks I managed to gain 2 lbs, putting me just 5lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. According to my week by week book I should already be 7-14 lbs over pre-pregnancy weight. I’m really trying! Jillian weighs 2 1/2 lbs and is aroudn 15 inches long right now. Most of the growth from here on out is just to get her filled out. My stomach feels really stretched and bloated pretty much all the time these days. So far I’ve been lucky with no belly stretch marks. Hopefully they stay away! Only 84 days until my due date!
I just finished reading Husband Coached Childbirth by Dr. Bradley. I was told that this book was more about him than the technique and that I shouldn’t waste my time on it. I actually really enjoyed the book. I found Dr. Bradley’s writing style more interesting to read. The other book about The Bradley Method, was more like reading a textbook. I’m glad I read both books though. I feel like I have a better understanding of The Bradley Method than if I had just read one or the other.
One thing I particularly liked about Dr. Bradley’s book is that I got more of the background into why/how he came up with his method.
So instead of just being told to eat between 80-100g of protein a day, Dr. Bradley’s book outlines specifically the Brewer Diet, upon which that protein figure comes from.
It makes it so much easier for me to see exactly what foods I should be eating instead of aimlessly trying to add up things.
While it is easier to see what I should be consuming, it still seems like so much food to me:
4 servings of dairy
2 servings of protein
2 servings of leafy greens
4 slices/servings of whole grains
1 serving of citrus
1 serving of whole grain cereal
1 yellow/orange-colored fruit or vegetable
1 whole baked potato
3 pats of butter
With breakfast I’ve managed to get a few things out of the way: 2 eggs scrambled with 2 sausage links and cheese (2 eggs, 1 protein, 1 dairy, 1 butter), 2 glasses of milk (2 dairy), 1 slice whole grain toast (1 serving whole grains, 1 butter).
I am so stuffed! I don’t know how I’m going to consume the rest.
Stephen says it sounds like a line-backer’s diet.
Anyway, belly bump picture to come later today.