Whoa… it’s 2009. It feels weird to write that. I seriously thought 2008 would never end. Especially the parts that involved morning sickness. Anyway.
I realize that this post is about 10 days late, but I was pretty busy 10 days ago with familial obligations and I’m just now getting around to figuring out what I want this year to look like. So here goes:
1. Study up on photography and how my camera works. I’m actually well on my way with this. Today I pulled down my digital photography book and I dusted off the user guide for my camera. I also started messing around with the settings. I’ve already figured out how adjust the white balance and change the ISO. Eye Candy Friday should become more regular now. I can’t go around saying I want an SLR when I don’t really put much effort into becoming a better photographer with the camera I already have.
2. Socialize. I am quite shy. Probably doesn’t seem like it when you read this blog. I probably sound very opinionated and vocal. I can be in writing. In social situations it is a different story. I think if I gave into my anxieties I could easily become a hermit and never leave my house. Even if I don’t completely agree with all the ladies there, I want to stay involved in the two neighborhood mom groups and try to connect myself and Bean with the other moms/kids there. I always worry that I’m already setting Bean up to be introverted and socially awkward just like me.
3. Get better at managing my anxiety. I was talking with Stephen about this just now. He said one thing that helps him with this issue is the passage in Romans 6 that talks about being a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness. I think sometimes I let my anxiety become the master of my life even though I’ve been set free. I don’t know. I don’t think it’s just so simple to turn off the constant stream of worries and thoughts in my head, but if I can sometimes remember that I don’t have to be a “slave” to this any longer that will be better than the way I usually deal with it which is by being irritable, lashing out, feeling restless, worrying, etc.
4. Start reading to Bean more often. I want her to become a lover of books just like me. She may not completely understand them or be able to sit through one just yet, but I want to start early with this.
5. Get my passport. I really want to travel. I think getting a passport is a good first step.
6. Be more loving. I think one word that sums up my dimeanor the last few years is “grouch”. It was a little hard hearing that from Stephen a couple weeks ago, but the more I’ve thought about it I know it’s true. I’m hasty in my reactions and generally pretty grumpy. I need to realize that everyone is not out to get me and I don’t need to argue every point. I should try to be less irritable in general.
There are a few other goals I have, but they really aren’t for public consumption. So I won’t be sharing them here.