Monthly Archives: May 2009

Week Thirty Five

I made it out to the car and got my camera this week…

Pictures still aren’t the greatest, but maybe that will be changing soon since I just ordered myself a Canon Rebel XSi. My dad has this points driven commision thing through his work and he can use the points to “buy” different things. Anyway, the camera is supposed to be my birthday present. The site it says it could take 2-3 weeks for the redeeming to clear. Then that baby is mine all mine! Until then this camera will have to do.

Bean, you will notice, is not wearing any clothes. That is because of a massive laundry undertaking going on right now before we leave to go to Tahoe for my sister’s wedding. Unlike our San Diego trip, I refused to come back to piles of dirty laundry and diapers.

I like the no clothes look though, I can see all those sweet chubby rolls better. 🙂

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The latest, afternoon of May 24

Last night for a couple hours all of my pregnancy symptoms completely disappeared. It was like someone shut off a switch and I was feeling completely normal.

This freaked me out.

As well as the much more intense cramping I experienced. And the spotting which had turned pink (new blood).

Basically my options were to go to the ER/Urgent Care and get blood work and an ultrasound done or wait it out. I chose wait it out.

This morning things were the same until about 9am.

Then I started feeling nauseous again. Stephen has never been so excited about me feeling that way. He went to Jamba and got me a protein infused smoothie while I put Bean down for a nap.

After I had my smoothie I realized that my cramping had disappeared too. A check in the bathroom revealed that the spotting had stopped!

However, my tummy ache was only getting worse despite downing the smoothie that had a double protein boost in it.

My stomach continued to churn and churn.

And well I’m sure you can guess what happened next. First time in the whole pregnancy though so not that bad I guess considering I think I’ll be 9 weeks along tomorrow.

Oh and meat is completely disgusting and I won’t be eating it for quite some time. I had a bean and cheese burrito for lunch.

This started a few nights ago when we had spaghetti with sausage and the sausage tasted like dill pickle to me. Sick. Not what sausage is supposed to taste like. It wasn’t bad, just me.

Then we had tacos another night and that meat was so greasey and bleh.

Then yesterday we ate at IHOP for breakfast because our kitchen was (is) a complete disaster. I knew I needed some protein to go with my big stack of blueberry pancakes so I order a side of ham. The most greasey looking stuff came out on a plate all its own. Seriously did not know ham could even be that greasey. I choked it down. I still don’t know why.

Last night we had really yummy pasta with sausage at my sister in law’s house. And it didn’t taste like dill pickle. But still. I think all my recent bad meat experiences have totally ruined it for me.

Just the thought of meat makes me want to gag right now. Hence the smoothie for breakfast and the bean burrito for lunch (please stay down!).

We skipped out on church today so I could rest and take it easy still. And that’s still the plan at this point even though the bleeding has stopped.

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Slight update.

Well the morning after I wrote my last post there was a lot more blood and I was cramping a lot. So I freaked out.

I cried like a baby curled up on the couch.

Anyway, the spotting is still brownish which means it’s old blood.

It’s still going on as I write this.

We don’t know what that means. This might just be how my body does things in the first trimester. I may not be as far along as I thought and I am experiencing implantation spotting. My cervix could be slightly irritated. I could be experiencing what Barbie wrote about on her blog. We just don’t know. 

Even though I kept a blog last time I didn’t detail my spotting in it so I don’t really completely remember how it was. I don’t remember if I cramped. I do remember that it was also brownish pinkish. I don’t remember the quantities. I do remember talking about it with my OB last time and even he didn’t know why I was bleeding despite early ultrasounds and lots of blood work.

I’m still trying to take it easy, rest as much as possible and drink plenty of fluids.

Also, I’m still experiencing plenty of pregnancy symptoms. I’m absolutely starving all the time. I am also pukey feeling which never makes sense to me when I am starving at the same time, but that’s pregnancy for you. I am dead tired so the “resting” part of my prescription has come rather easily. And I am still facing some major tenderness when I nurse Bean. All of which suggests that I am still pregnant.

I am seeing my midwife next week, but I’ll still be on the borderline of whether she’ll be able to hear the heartbeat with the doppler. So I don’t want to get my hopes up for that and then have them dashed or start to worry even more.

And I also made an appointment with a family practice physician down here for June 2 and maybe that doctor will order an ultrasound or something.

I don’t know. And as far as all my tough talk about not worrying about it. Well, I’m worried. There’s just no way around it. I don’t think I am capable of not worrying.

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No use worrying.

This morning I started spotting. No big deal I thought to myself. I spotted through most of my first trimester with Bean.

Texted my midwife to give her a heads up and then carried on with my day.

Then I started having some cramps.

So she said I should probably try to stay down and technically put me on pelvic/bed rest. She added after saying that, “But let’s be realistic here. You have a baby. I know that’s not really possible.” Just as Bean started screaming after stepping on her Thomas the Train toy.

She said that really there isn’t much that can be done if I am going to miscarry. They could order blood work and look on an ultrasound, but all that would tell us is whether I am going to or not. Not much they can do to prevent it.

I did laundry. I made a pot pie. I carted my little tyke around the house.

This is the way I see it. God knows what He’s doing. There’s no use worrying about it. If this pregnancy wasn’t meant to be, then it just wasn’t meant to be.

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Something happier…

I wish I was getting married again so I could have these:

From Jamball on Etsy.

From Rainsend on Etsy.

Oh and an amazing video like this from our friend John.

I love weddings. Luckily I’m going to one next week.

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On schedules…

When I say that Bean isn’t on a perfect schedule and that schedules don’t work for us, I’m partially lying.

She is on a very loose schedule.

First of all, she doesn’t always wake up at the same time each day. When she wakes up she’s usually doing the I’m-starving-feed-me-now scream. If that happens at 6:30 our day is on even numbers. If that happens at 7:30 our day is on odd.

And maybe the experts would tell me that we should be consistent and I should be waking her up at 6:30 on the days she wants to sleep in. Well, skip you experts. If she sleeps in until 7:30 I am too and I am going to enjoy every single minute of it.

And just because I’m not on a “schedule” doesn’t mean I’m totally on-demand about feeding either. It’s not like I put her on the boob every 15 minutes.

I would die.

If it hasn’t been at least 2 hours since her last meal I try other things… distraction, changing the diaper, moving to a different room, introducing a new toy, cuddling, etc. I know this is more frequent than some people would feel comfortable with, but I also know it is less frequent than others do. I’ve tried stretching out the feedings (I know most people do four hours at this point) and it just a cryfest that I do not have the temperment for.

This is how our days usually look (for an odd numbered day just shift everything forward one hour)…

6:30am – up for the day and wanting to be fed. I feed her and then change her diaper.
8:30am – Feeding #2
10:30am – We nap for two hours
12:30pm – Lunch (Feeding #3). Bean gets some solids if I’m feeling up to dealing with it, otherwise I just nurse her.
2:30pm – Feeding #4 and nap #2. This one is usually short, but every now and then she surprises me and it is another two hours.
4:30pm – Feeding #5. If she took a short or no nap at 2:30pm she will usually go down for another nap at this point.
6:30pm – Dinner (Feeding #6). If I am not feeling well or feeling rushed with dinner I don’t bother with solids, but she almost always gets them at least at dinner time.
8:30pm – Feeding #7 and bedtime for Bean.

And with the exception of one crazy night in San Diego this weekend she’s been back to only waking 1 or 2 times at night. Usually with at least 4 hour stretches in between. I can live with that.

Oh and on an unrelated note, I miraculously started feeling a little better after our nap today which is glorious. Since then I’ve folded three loads of laundry and washed the guest room linens. But I am starting to feel a little yucky again right now so I’m going to try and have a snack to cut it off early.

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Week Thirty Four

Yesterday I started feeling sick. Still haven’t thrown up yet.

Anyway, I’m curled up on the couch today.

Bean is happily getting into everything.

(Yes, it is a crappy cell phone picture because I can’t muster the gumption to go out to my car and get the better camera out of the trunk where it has been since our trip to San Diego last weekend.)

Yesterday while I was being direlect in my duties as parent, Bean managed to climb the stairs by herself.

She’s climbing on everything lately and has plenty of bruises to go with it, including one on her left cheek. People are probably going to start thinking that I abuse her or something.

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