As each day goes by I still hear my former OB’s voice in my head (the title of this post) when I walked into his office at 41+4 in all my huge, pregnant glory.
That was a very nerve wracking day as I went from station to station at our medical group wondering if I was going to be given a bunch of chemicals and end up with a c-section by the end of the day.
And maybe then, as now, I should just stop viewing my lack of going into labor on my own as this horrible thing that is going to automatically spiral down into a c-section. I know quite a few of my readers have had them for various reasons and it really isn’t the end of the world or life or anything. So I should probably stop thinking of it like that. And many more of my readers have had successful inductions that did not result in c-sections.
But I really, really want another homebirth. It’s just me.
Anyway, I guess that is sort of a tangent from what I originally sat down to write about in this post.
Yesterday we made a quick trip to Bakersfield (as in drove straight there and turned around and came back) to see my midwife. I’m still growing, baby is still growing, baby is still moving, heartrate is good. She thinks the baby feels around 8lbs which has me a bit worried since I tore with Bean and she was only 7lbs 4oz at birth. I was definitely more dilated than last time (though she didn’t give me an exact number) she saw me, so I guess all these false alarms have at least been doing something.
We talked about the due date and those handy wheels OBs and midwives alike use. I guess one version of the wheel is 40 weeks plus 2 days and another version is 40 weeks. And up until 10 years ago you weren’t even considered past due until you actually hit 42 weeks, which explains to me why my mom’s OBs never gave her a hard time about her crazy cycles and when the baby had to be born by or why Stephen’s mom was allowed to go until 42 weeks with him.
Upon reviewing my fertility chart this morning, I had a very gradual temperature shift that occured between April 4 and 9. Using a simple due date calculator, that puts my due dates between December 26 and 31. So, I could just be as little as 41+4 today or I could be as much as 42+2. And then there is the admittedly inaccurate 20 week ultrasound due date of Jan. 7 which would only make me 40+4 (though a review once again of my chart suggests that there is a very slight possibility that this date works).
Anyway, I’m getting restless and nervous that things are not going to go the way I planned (do they ever?). So, I had my midwife strip my membranes yesterday. I’m sure this might sound slightly shocking to some of you since I’ve seemed so against this idea on here. Really, though I’m not against it, especially in a situation like mine where I’m overdue and I’d like to go into labor as naturally as possible.
I just think that patients have rights including consent and the right to be informed about things that are being done to them. When I was pregnant with Bean, I actually went into my OBs office that day planning to ask him to do just that thing, but for one thing he was making me really mad and uncomfortable because of how that appointment went. I felt intimidated like he thought I was the biggest idiot in the world and now here he was going to get to tell me “I told you so,” and as such I didn’t ever get to the point where I felt like I could even ask him anything. Then, under the guise of doing a normal cervical check he went ahead and did it anyway without asking me or telling me and when I mentioned that it was the most painful and uncomfortable and long check I’d experienced the whole pregnancy he LIED and said that he was checking out the shape of my pelvis. Well after yesterday I am now completely sure that he stripped my membranes because that was exactly what it felt like. Furthermore it isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing to go through, it would be nice to be a little prepared for what’s coming so you can breathe or try to think about something else or any of the other coping mechanisms one might use.
End of rant.
So after that yesterday I was really crampy and then I even started having some fairly intense contractions on the way home (last 20 minutes of our car ride was EXCRUCIATING, I seriously don’t know how you ladies make it to the hospital in full on labor, also something needs to be done about the bumpiness of CA-23). They were 4 minutes apart, getting progressively intense and then they just stopped. Again. And my midwife is probably laughing because she said, “I can do this, but I don’t think it will do anything really. If your body is ready, it is ready. We all have our little things that we think starts labor, but I tend to think it is all just coincidence.”
So if I still haven’t had this baby by Wednesday morning she wants me to call my OBs office (that I haven’t seen since November, for some reason I feel really awkward about that phone call even though things ended on very amicable terms with their office even wishing me the “very best” and to “keep in touch”) and get an NST done and see what he thinks.