Things I am thinking.

-As much as blogging can be an outlet for me and a place to share, sometimes it seems like work. Sometimes I worry that I don’t post enough. Sometimes I worry that I’m not doing my “job” and keeping our family/friends updated.

-I worry that people get the impression from these posts that I do everything all the time. That I am the perfect mother. That I never lose my temper and yell at my toddler. That our house is always clean. This is not the case. There are dust bunnies everywhere both physically and metaphorically speaking.

-Does anybody even read this anymore? Because I hardly ever get comments anymore so that is what it seems like.

-I feel like despite my imperfections, that the last few months I’ve really started to come into my own as a person and a mother. I feel comfortable with where I am at and where I am going. I feel good about what I am doing. I don’t feel as judgy of other people and I don’t feel like I need to compare myself constantly to what they are doing. I do what is working for me and for our family. I think that is all that matters. When people (mostly my sister) come to me for advice I’ve given out some that surprises even me because I know that their situation is different and something that I wouldn’t necessarily do might work for them.

-A year ago I felt really lost, lonely and I was basically freaking out. I am so far from that now. However, it has opened my eyes to other people in similar situations. I’ve figured out that stay at home moms have really hard jobs and can be really lonely a lot of the time. Especially shy or socially awkward people like myself. I want to help these people. I’m not sure how yet.

-When I am out and about and I see a pregnant woman with a toddler, I get ridiculously excited that it isn’t me.

-I’m designing a knitting project right now and hope to share it soon.

-I’ve been working on a post in my head about how I make eating good food work for us and what our routine looks like throughout the week.

-Last night I did the grocery shopping by myself. This may save my sanity. I don’t think I ever want to grocery shop with both babies again. I got it all done in record time without screaming, having to take a nursing break or ruining a nap. I think I may schedule night grocery shopping with Stephen from now on.

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12 Comments

Filed under Ramblings

12 responses to “Things I am thinking.

  1. Being a SAHM is a tough job and it DOES get lonely. We moms do need to network and share with others how we are doing. That’s great you point that out!

    Oh and I think about the commenting lacking….I always feel like summer time is sooo slow for blogs I guess maybe because everyone is a little extra busy with vacations and a different summer schedule. My comments have been rather sparse too but I know people still read…people just don’t always have time to comment! 🙂

    I read your blog!

  2. I still read! Things have been busy and hectic over here too and I’m sorry for not being as faithful a commenter as I should!

    And goodness, I totally understand where you’re coming from with feeling like you’re not posting enough/coming across as the perfect mother/wife/etc. I worry about the same thing. I never want other moms who are having a tough time to look at me and feel pressure of any sort. Not that I do everything right, but I don’t know, I just don’t want to act perfect & that I have everything together when that’s clearly not the case, lol. But I think you are SO real, and though you do a seriously amazing job handling two kids and a household, you’re honest and upfront about things that aren’t so perfect. At least it seems that way, and that’s what I love about you, friend.

    P.S. Grocery shopping and nursing in the same sentence made me have a mini panic attack right here. I’m serious, I’m sweating.

  3. Andrea

    So I pretty much check your blog everyday & get excited when there is a new post! You post plenty of things. Iv never got the impression that you think your perfect sometimes I think you put wayyyy too many expectations on yourself. I think your an incredible mom/sister that I admire very very much! 🙂 love you

  4. Andrea

    Oh and I often feel the same way that blogging is sometimes work & wonder if anyone actually reads it or cares your not the only one.

  5. Tiffany

    -Still reading!
    -Love the idea of metaphorical dust bunnies, it puts words to something I’ve been thinking but not sure how to express.
    -I am so the lonely and socially awkward SAHM type. And darn proud of it!
    -Would be curious to see the food post.
    🙂

  6. Crystal

    I read. Pregnant with a toddler though so commenting usually takes too much energy.

  7. bandofbrothers

    I still read!

    and YES! I go grocery shopping at night too! I can never go back. Occasionally I will take one of the older kids, but otherwise there is not room in the cart for food, esp. at Trader Joes with their ridiculously small carts.

  8. grandmatiger

    I read every day, I have a little routine that goes “check gmail,check facebook, check blogs, check instant messenger” then I play warcraft a couple hours, then Ido it all again just in case somebody has emailed/messaged/updated. I don’t always post because a) who wants to see your Mom always putting her nickel worth in and b) sometimes if I do have something to say I’d rather it was just private to you so I email instead.

    As for the actual post here, you are an awesome, wonderful, terrific Mommy and yes, human too- which means that you sometimes yell or get upset. Oh well, sometimes yelling and getting upset is the only way to get anybody to hear you. Yay for grocery shopping at night, or on Saturdays, or whenever you can get Papa or somebody else to watch the little ones.

    As for the issues of other SAHM’s, that’s why I joined Miss Barbara’s and Ms. Davis’ classes back in the day – we all were Moms with kids the same ages, we networked, we swapped babysitting, we talked…Find a program, through the schools or through your church, or heck, start one of your own. Some call them “playgroups” some call them “co-op parent groups” others call them preschools or readiness programs.

  9. I read every post..have since the bean was a wee little one! Your actually one of the first blogs I started reading..and I have no idea how I came across it..hahaha!!

  10. Paula

    ditto to andrea and mommy, to a T. i do and think and feel all the same things. and im too lazy to re-write and put it in my own words, lol. which is why i only comment when i am reading at work because i am in a productive mood. and i print pictures of the kids from my work printer. but dont tell my boss that, k?

  11. I promise I am reading! I am just lame about commenting most of the time. I feel the same way though, if no one comments (or I get very few) then it doesn’t exactly motivate me to blog. It definitely feels like work to me sometimes to blog. I pretty much post once a month, and ya know what, I’m not going to feel guilty about it any more. I enjoy reading people’s blogs whether they post daily or bimonthly and I need to accept that people feel that way about my blog. 😉

    I’m glad you feel more comfortable and confidant as a mom and woman!

    My boys are older and I still prefer grocery shopping by myself. I usually end up doing it on Saturdays and it is honestly some of my only free time, and even though it is just getting groceries, I still enjoy that peace and quiet and time to myself. I have been known to tell people behind me in line (who only have a few items) to please get in front of me so I can prolong my outing. :S haha I may have even begged a time or two when someone says no, they can wait.

  12. Kourtni

    I haven’t tried the grocery shopping at night thing…. because I pretty much turn into a hermit at 5pm… but I HATE taking all my kids. I only go if I can leave some or all of them behind. hehe. Genevieve is the easiest to bring… because she doesn’t ask me for anything. 😉

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