I love them to pieces. I want to hug them tight and hold onto the precious moments that slip away so quickly.
Even on days like today. Oh today.
Well, to be more accurate, this started yesterday when they decided not to nap. See, I thought I had solved the whole silly escapades and sibling giggle fest during nap times quite a awhile ago when I started having them nap in separate rooms. And then yesterday they discovered yelling from separate rooms. And the silly escapades were back on.
Bean would sing a silly song at the top of her lungs and Sprout would laugh. Then they’d both start laughing. Sprout would make some baby-type noise really loudly, Bean would copy it and they’d start laughing. She’d yell his name and they’d start laughing.
Numerous interventions and pleas for silence in nice and not-so-nice tones from me. And then it was 4pm with no nap in sight. I gave up and dragged both kids to the grocery store with me.
Bean is right at that age where she can sometimes be alright without a nap. But most of the time, it progresses like this: crazy, silly, hyper, out of control, completely unable to listen to anything asked of her, negotiating everything, arguing, angry when she doesn’t get her way, meltdown into tears, full on tantrum.
Sprout very much still needs to nap. He becomes an inconsolable crying mess if he doesn’t. He wanders around aimlessly just completely upset and unable to communicate except by crying.
So that was how yesterday mostly ended except that Bean moved back into the crazy sillies when my friends arrived for book club just before her early bed time.
Today it seemed things were headed in the same direction. After half an hour I decided that I would take action and not let this happen again for the second day in a row. I had a chiropractic appointment late this afternoon in Oxnard which is about a 20 minute drive away. I packed a book, loaded the kids into the car and started driving. My kids cannot resist the power over sleep that is the car. Or so I thought.
Oxnard comes and goes and they are both still awake. Bean repeatedly informs me, “I not tired, Mama, I awake.” So I keep driving. By Seacliff, Sprout is beginning to fuss. By Carpinteria he is in full blown cry. Bean is yelling at him to be quiet and “that’s enough Bubba” and I am telling her to worry about herself and not to yell at her brother. By Montecito I have decided that this isn’t working and pull off the freeway.
He won’t calm down. He’s in hysterics. Nothing is calming him down.
I buckle him back up and turn around. More crying. Angry grunts and screams. I make it back to Oxnard and decide that maybe we will just try the beach for a bit before my appointment.
I don’t know why, when I could see an extremely rough ocean and feel strong winds pushing my car during my drive, that I thought this would be a good idea. As soon as I get out of the car, sand is blasted into my face. So I get in the back with the doors shut and unbuckle the kids and tell them they can play in the van. I’ve run out of ideas and options.
Sprout is completely beside himself at this point. He’s clinging to me and screaming and flopping on my lap then getting up and taking a couple steps away and then back and more crying and clinging.
I call Stephen. There really is nothing he can do of course. He tells me to try a park instead of the beach. The entire Ventura basin is crazy windy though so I am not sure it would be much better.
I try the Peter Rabbit pop out book app to distract them. Bean is into it, Sprout kind of calms down.
And then even though we are parked right next to a bathroom and we’ve had no accidents and she’s been telling me and been taking care of getting to and doing bathroom stuff herself, Bean informs me from the very back of the van where she has discovered the bag of sand toys I keep for just in case beach trips that she just did a poo-poo in her undies. And that it stinks. And isn’t that so funny, Mama? Poo-poo! Poo-poo! Hahaha!
Except that, no, it isn’t funny when you realize that you have no wipes or extra undies or PullUps and a screaming one-year-old besides.
So with 45 minutes until my appointment and not knowing the area that well, I head to the one place I am sure of will have undies and wipes and that I actually know the whereabouts of: Walmart.
I hate Walmart. Hate it.
I am so glad there is not one in Thousand Oaks. Bakersfield had like four or five.
I realize I sound very stuck up and privileged right now.
I just hate Walmart.
Anyway, another lovely development as the story unfolds is that my gas light comes on as I am headed to what might as well be my personal hell. And to make matters worse the only gas stations I am seeing are Shell which I also hate.
I am sure other gas companies are not much better, but in college I watched a documentary in one of my political science classes all about Shell and how they destroyed African villages and used warlords and ugh!
So here I am basically being forced to patronize the a couple of the companies I hate the most.
I decide only to get a couple gallons and not the full fill-up from the Shell station first. Not only do I save a bit of time before the appointment, I give less money to them.
Next up Walmart. In the same giant strip mall.
Oh and of course now Sprout finally decides to fall asleep. I try really hard to carry him and not wake him, but just as I am passing the cash registers upon entering the store my arm already feels like it will fall off and my belly is locked in a Braxton Hicks contraction so powerful, I can barely walk. Back to the carts and Sprout is awake.
I locate wipes and undies after managing to push down the feeling of being overwhelmed by such a huge place with so much junk.
I get in a line that seems fairly reasonable compared to the others. While waiting in this line another register opens up and I am urged to go into that line by store employees. I am now third in line. Except the cash register’s computer crashes while checking out the first person.
Also, I am now four minutes late to what I was hoping would be the one bright point of my day.
I call the office to apologize and say I am still on my way. They get the cash register going again.
People in line are getting on my nerves. Particularly those sharing their best how-to-be-an-alcoholic tips and getting excited about the price of tequila here in Wally-world.
Ew! I just want out of this place.
Finally, I get to pay and finally get back out to my car after a hold up by a gigantic family that set the security sensors off and nearly rioted over the greeter coming over to see their items and receipt to make sure it all checked out. I get Bean cleaned up in record time and then head to my chiropractor’s office only to be delayed even more by a train crossing.
My chiropractor just gives me a big hug and goes into spontaneous Charismatic/Evangelical prayer, which honestly is a little weird since we’ve never talked about faith/church/etc. But she’s like that and genuine so I just kind of sit there finally calming down and a little dumbfounded.
Then on the way home Bean finally decides to fall asleep. Which it’s time for dinner and I really can’t carry her anymore so I have to wake her. She’s grumpy about it.
Then during dinner Sprout busts into further hysterics over what we still are not sure about and gets so worked up that he hyperventilates, holds his breath and his lips turn purple and it is a big freak out moment and then he’s fine and yeah.
He was ready for bed. So I rocked him and he snuggled and hummed with me and finally that little body relaxed and let go.
And I still just want to wrap both of them up in my arms and hold them tight despite all that. And we’re going to have three of them soon! Which makes me wonder if my sanity should be called into question. Haha!