Cuddle bug.

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Sweet little love of a boy. So incredibly sensitive. My most emotional kid of the bunch.

Still needs naps some days. Still needs help getting to sleep (“I want you to lay with me” or “I want to lay in your bed next to you”) at closer to 4 than his official 3 years old. Late night climb into our bed snuggler too.

It will not always be like this: his sweet hand on my lap to help him fall asleep and know that I am close while I quietly knit in dimmed light.

A talk today with my husband about our parenting. How Orthodoxy is changing the way we view our kids and parent.

The huge difference not viewing them as “little sinners” makes when St. Augustine and the Western doctrines on original sin are not the barometer. How their acting out should not be seen as an affront and personally offensive. How that changes the way we love them, discipline them.

Our Orthodox curriculum has been perfect in this season because I feel like I’m an Orthodox preschooler/Kindergartener too. There have been so many little nuggets for me. When we were discussing the sixth day of creation this line hit me, “It is important for us to remember that God made every animal… When we hurt animals, it makes God feel very sad. He does not want any of his creatures to be hurt.”

The implications of that are huge! Take that a step further, we humans were not only made by God, but in His image. When that sinks in, really sinks in, how does that change how we treat one another, how we speak to one another, how we parent our children?

Maybe it doesn’t change anything. Maybe you are like me and 15 minutes after reading that you are speaking harshly to your Kindergartener because she doesn’t want to do the handwriting practice copy work part of the assignment that the above quote came from.

True story.

But maybe, just maybe, it is the first tiniest step to repentance, to change.

There have been many, many points in this parenting journey where I just wanted no one to touch me. Touch, any touch, hurt: Please no one else touch me for the rest of the day or I will have a big rage and tears filled breakdown.

I do know this, the trigger is usually my own selfishness. I want to accomplish something that 80% of the time is not even what I should be spending time on and I get frustrated because “no one” is giving me the space to do it.

That’s changing in me, if only just ever so slightly. I don’t know how. It’s miraculous really.

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So I’m going to soak up every minute of this sweet still-pudgy hand on my lap. It won’t be like this for long at all. I will miss it, this season of life, of this I am quite sure.

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Filed under Faith, Family, Kiddos, Parenting, Ramblings

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