I’ve had Jenny McCarthy’s book, Mother Warriors on my bookshelf since last Christmas. It was a present from my sister, Andrea.
I started it today and I’m about 1/3 of the way through. I’m wading through the Hollywood crap, the therapist and weird spiritual beliefs, like praying to other people’s guardian angels. I keep leveling with myself that this woman is not a scientist or a doctor, she’s an actress/comedian.
But it is really hard to ignore what she and the other moms in her book have to say about their children and vaccines in light of last week.
It started yesterday, but really became obvious today: I have my daughter back. A week and 2-3 days later.
Today she didn’t refuse to eat. She has been “talking” nonstop. Pointing to every object in the house asking, “dis?” and wanting me to tell her what it is. She hasn’t flopped on the floor at all. She giggles when I give her kisses. She’s alert and playful. Her smile is ridiculously cute and huge over every little thing. She is so interactive!
It would be one thing if she just had a fever for a couple days last week. But even after the fever subsided and the “sick” symptoms went away, Bean just wasn’t herself. She didn’t talk. She zoned out. She didn’t want to play with her toys. I feel like I don’t know how to explain it and then again I do.
I’ve always felt like the benefits of vaccines in protecting our society against disease outweigh the “standard” side effects. Did I want to minimize those side effects as much as possible? Of course. That’s why we were going with a much less accelerated vaccine schedule than what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends.
But now I am finding myself questioning the value of injecting our children and ourselves with toxins and diseases. And whether a breastfed baby growing up in the United States where these diseases are almost obsolete that I’m probably going to homeschool really needs them.
And if I do make this decision, I’m trying to figure out how I can muster the courage to not back down at the next pediatrician’s appointment. To not find myself frazzled once again and fumbling over what I think is best for Bean.
I don’t know. I guess I’m just becoming one of those crazy moms.