Tag Archives: love

Kiss my fist bump

I give Bean a kiss on the cheek which prompts requests for more kisses from the kids.

Bean: Kiss on my other cheek.
Sprout: Kiss on cheek
Bean: Kiss on my nose
Sprout: Kiss on nose
Bean: Kiss on the mouth
Sprout: Kiss on mouth
Bean: Kiss on my head
Sprout: Kiss head!
Bean: Kiss on my finger
Sprout: Kiss fist bump!

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Daily, 11/9

Ah, yes, so this is why you have two. They were playing together with the LittlePeople farm and totally in their own world.

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Love.


Can you tell he’s smiling? Because he is.

To quote Lorie, “He really does adore his brother. Even if it is a fierce, loveyoutodeath, kind of adoring.”

Yep. That’s what we’ve got going on around here. A whole lot of it.


She loves to hold his hand.

Bean still has the misconception that a kiss means you lean your head in real close and that it has nothing to do with your lips. So when I tell her to give Sprout a kiss, this is what happens:


And yes, after seeing these photos I simultaneously melted from the cuteness and freaked out a bit when I realized how precarious a position Sprout is in with his big sister holding the musical instrument beater stick thing just inches from his head.

Oh and please don’t judge my daughter’s ensemble (Morgan), all I can say is that Stephen dressed her.

Pink goes with pink. Or something like that.

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Speech, speech, speech!

As is custom, the matron of honor was expected to give a speech. I did not prepare at all. So when the time came I of course totally flubbed it. I don’t know why I didn’t prepare and I feel so bad about it.

Having some time since then to think it over, this is what I wanted to say…

My sister is one of the most sincere, sensitive, and loving people I know.

A few years ago when she was still in college after a meeting with her small group leader, she called me up in tears. She said they had been discussing forgiveness and the past.

Paula: “Lisa, I just have something to confess. *sniff, sniff*. I’m just so sorry. I never told you about this. *sniff, sniff*. But in high school you know how you would listen to that Charlotte Church CD all the time? *sniff, sniff*. Well, I really hated it (imagine the last half of that sentence squeeking up into the highest registers).”

Me: “Yeah, I know. You used to tell me that all the time. Sorry I played it so much.”

Paula: *sniff, sniff* “Well, that’s not just it. One day when you were at school I broke it into a million little pieces. And I never told you about it. I just let you think it got lost. I’m really, really sorry. I’ll buy you a new one if you want.”

Me: “Oh, Paula, it’s OK. It’s not that big a deal. I don’t really listen to Charlotte Church anymore.”

And I think at this point I started giggling a little and so did she. I mean how many people do you know that would call you up to tell you about breaking a CD eight or so years ago?

We have not always gotten along well and the CD breaking is mild compared to some of the stuff we did to eachother.

In a letter Paula wrote to me last night and in the past she has credited me many times over with saving her life or being the reason for her coming to church and receiving salvation. I don’t know that I deserve such credit especially when you consider some of the raging fights we had during church events. I wasn’t exactly the picture of Christ’s love in that way.

You see, my sister has always been so much more confident and outgoing than me. I honestly don’t know where she gets it from. I mean if I had been through half the stuff she has been through in her life I am sure I’d be just a shell of the person I am today. Yet somehow she has this inner confidence and grace about her.

I have to admit, I’ve always been jealous of this and that is what caused so many fights between us, even at church. When I had been going to our church for several months and people were still having trouble remembering my name, if I was new or who the heck was Paula’s shy and quiet friend, Paula after just two weeks of attendence, quickly had a close circle of girls that she would sit and giggle with. That spring we both got baptised together at the church picnic. Everyone was screaming, “Yeah Paula! Woohooo!” and I heard a single, “Who is that?” when it was my turn.

But eventually, I found my own niche at the church and we stopped fighting with each other so much.

I feel like my sister has been so brave in ways that I always wanted to be. She says she looks up to me, but I don’t know why when I look up to her in so many ways. Standing in front of our entire church to share on a Sunday, leaving for college, finding the job of her dreams, and not settling for anything less than the best.

I know that in Matt this holds true as well. I’ve only shared a couple weeks with Matt, but I know he’s perfect for her. Everything from silly stuff like somewhat weird indie music to serious stuff like a sensitive heart is like two puzzle pieces coming together. They just fit.


This and next few photos by Matt’s amazing sister Beth. 

I’ve only been married for five and half years, so that isn’t much to draw from, especially in this day and age. But here is my advice to the two of you…

Communicate. Paula often says that she’s an introvert. I know I am one and this causes me to bottle things up until I explode it all out in a big mess. Let off the pressure slowly. Don’t wait until you are about to explode to say what you want to say.

 

Know that you are not always going to get your way. My first taste of this was actually in planning my wedding. Like many girls I had all these thoughts about what I wanted and how it was going to go. So when Stephen had an opinion that contradicted mine, I was actually a little offended. I mean hello, this was MY day. How quickly I forgot it was OUR day and he was just as entitled to opinions on the music, cake flavor, tuxes, etc. But more than wedding planning, you will have a lifetime of decisions that you will have to come to a compromise on. Work with each other. Don’t be stubborn, give in sometimes.

Love each other. Even when it hurts. Even when you are sick. Even when you are mad. When you are feeling particularly grumpy take a step back and ask if your actions are speaking love to each other. Oh, and you will feel grumpy. You are not perfect and your marriage will not always be picture perfect. You will go through rough times that really test you and your marriage. Cling to one another and fight for love.

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What I’ve learned about love and romance

A good friend of mine that I have not seen in far too long is getting married in May and I’ve been invited to the bridal shower this Saturday. I received the invitation in the mail about a week ago and it is just as cute as can be. The theme of the shower is romance, I was given all the details about the bride’s sizes and favorite scents. I was also told where she is registered.

Yesterday as I went go buy a gift I was really perplexed about what I should do. The be-excited-for-your-friend-where-she-is-at-now side of me just wanted to get her some fun lingerie and maybe a candle or two. The almost-been-married-five-years side of me wanted to get something practical from the registry.

First of all I can hardly believe that I’ve been married almost 5 years. It really doesn’t seem like it to me. It has gone by so fast. I have learned a lot though and I usually find that learning a lot takes time. Lots of time. So I suppose I really have been married 5 years.

The whole thing sparked up a thought process in me that I have not been able to shake.

Over the years, especially when I was newly married, I would find myself holding Stephen to these unspoken expectations of what was romantic. I would get upset because he didn’t leave love notes for me or spontaneously bring home flowers “just because.” I never communicated that these were my expectations. I would just get mad and stew over it.

I think this year was finally the year that broke that for me. I remember it distinctly because I was watching The Today Show the day before Valentine’s Day. The anchors and their guests were discussing the various things that people should be doing for their loved ones — what kind of flowers were in and what was meant by them, what lingerie, the perfect chocolates, how to create the perfect romantic evening. It occured to me that morning that the vast majority of The Today Show audience is women. So what they were essentially doing is creating an expectation in their viewers that unles your husband/partner/fiance/boyfriend/etc. does X, Y, and Z he does not really love you or care about these romantic things which are important to you. All the while these partners are not watching the show and don’t know that they are being held to this expectation of what they should be doing to prove their love.

The notion didn’t necessarily break for me because I saw the logic there, it broke because I had started to realize that what they were marketing to the viewers was not love or romance.

Flowers wilt and die pretty quickly, candles get burned up, you find out that romantic dinners aren’t so romantic when everyone in Bakersfield is at the same place you chose causing a 1-2 hour wait, and after a couple wearings lingerie gets shoved into the back of a drawer. And for that matter, it has been my experience that the lingerie is more about us girls than the guys. Take it from me, at 4.5 months pregnant I’m starting to feel huge already and on days when I don’t feel that great I stay in my PJs all day. Yet somehow when I feel at my ugliest, my husband still manages to find me physically attractive. I don’t need lace and silk and feathers — which just make me feel ridiculous anyway — I just need to be me and that is enough for him.

So then what is love and romance? It’s having someone to hold your hair out of your face and rub your back when you can’t stop puking. It’s staying up all night in the ER with you even though work starts the next morning at 8 am. It’s having an advocate who stands up for you when you can’t stand up for yourself. It’s someone who doesn’t hold it against you that you didn’t manage to make dinner that day even though there was no real reason you couldn’t. It’s someone who holds you together when you think you are at your breaking point. It’s someone who encourages you to keep trying when you don’t think you can anymore. It’s someone who sticks by your side when the world seems to be falling apart. It’s a quiet Valentine’s evening at home eating Taco Bell for dinner in front of the TV and celebrating the fact that you didn’t throw up that day.

I could probably go on, but I think you get the idea.

It has also been my experience that 5 years in you wish that your girlfriends hadn’t spent hundreds of dollars on lingerie and would have instead pitched in together to get you the KitchenAid stand mixer so you can make yourself some Ghiradelli brownies without straining your arm when you’re having a bad day.
So after all this turmoil within me I think I came to a good compromise for my two sides: some kitchen tools from her registry and a copy of Healthy Cooking for Two (or Just You) (I tried to find a cookbook title with more romance in it, but Border’s cookbook selection wasn’t that great in this department) in a nice basket with red rose petals and some candles. Everything she needs to cook up a romantic dinner for two.

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