Tag Archives: nursing

On being done with nursing the second time

I’ve figured out that my milk supply is all dried up. Sprout is not a happy camper.

I had suspected as much the last week or so. I stopped feeling letdown and I have a strong one. Many times he would latch on, try for a few seconds and then get frustrated. Sometimes he didn’t even want to try. He definitely wasn’t getting full or satisfied.

My plan had been to get him through cold and flu season and then gradually wean him, more as he led than me, before the new baby arrived. I definitely wanted to get him through the current cold he and his sister are sharing.

I feel torn about introducing cow milk right now. It seems like good timing since he can’t get it from me. I have been so afraid of food allergies this go round. A few weeks ago I tried to give him some yogurt and he wasn’t a fan. I also made him a smoothie with some raw milk around the same time, the same smoothie I usually make with almond or hemp milk, and he didn’t like it either.

I stopped getting our raw milk from our CSA because dairy doesn’t seem to agree with me at all this pregnancy and Stephen doesn’t drink enough to justify the additional weekly expense. It just kept getting sour anyway.

Plus, cow dairy products increase mucus production in humans which he doesn’t need considering his nose is already a dripping faucet and he has a junky cough going on.

Then our most recent pediatrician wasn’t a fan at all of milk or dairy products, even the alternative ones. She said after weaning they were completely unnecessary and more of an American cultural diet than anything.

I mean he could definitely use the extra calories. Much like Bean did around this time he has basically dropped to the bottom of the growth chart. Though I don’t even know if I believe in or trust the growth charts anyway.

I wish there were an easy answer. Meanwhile poor little guy is frustrated and very upset about this sudden loss.

I am sure this all sounds very melodramatic to some of you and you are saying, “He was over a year, time to pack those girls up and move on,” but maybe that isn’t the case either. I think those of you that have stuck with me this long already know how these things go with me.

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Week two under my belt.

I’ve been contemplating what I want to say here for a couple days now. It seems every time that I analyze my parenting abilities it comes off to other people as accusatory and critical of their parenting abilities. That is not my intention here. My intention is to simply be honest about what I’m going through and how I’m feeling and how I’m processing what I think I should be doing with what I’m actually getting done.

So week two, Stephen went back to work. Much of the week I felt I was barely keeping my head above water.

We only managed to get out of our pajamas once and that was due to the fact that I had an appointment one morning with my doctor (Rash update: Despite antihistamines and steroid creams, it spread over my whole body, but today was finally the first day that I was not completely consumed by the need to scratch. As such, it looks like I’m finally going to be in the clear on this thing. Whew!). Also on that day, since we were all dressed, I decided to brave Target with both kids. One hundred dollars worth of random stuff later (some that I actually planned to buy, some not really), I survived.

Stephen got a cold and stayed home sick on Wednesday. The kids picked up the cold on Friday, but then it seemed to not be bothersome yesterday and came back with vengeance today. I was really determined to get out of the house and make it to church for the first time in well over a month though and was unwilling to admit that they were sick until we were in Ventura in the chuch parking lot with Stephen telling me that there was no way we could go in and leave Bean in the nursery because she had the most disgusting snotty nose  accompanied by sneezing, coughing and that stuffed up sound about her. Still, everyone seems to be handling their symptoms in stride. And we spent the day at the Channel Islands Harbor instead.

I did manage to cook dinner four nights this week.

I’ve had to utter the phrase, “I’m only one Mommy,” entirely too much. It breaks my heart often that I can’t do everything and be everything to everyone.

Sprout makes the challenges I thought I was facing with Bean seem like a cakewalk. I guess she was my chance at an easy baby. Bigger babies are supposed to be easier and sleep better, right? Um, yeah in this case not so much. Particularly when said baby is gassy and refluxy all the time. I’ve figured out that part of the problem is in nursing. I’m calling the pediatrician’s office tomorrow to see if they have a lactation consultant they can recommend. It really is that bad. He also pretty much refuses to be put down almost all the time. And this isn’t a slightly fussy kind of he can cry it out and be OK thing he does. We’re talking full on red-faced, nearly hyperventilating hysterics that sometimes turn into a coughing and gagging fit within a couple seconds.

Because of this, I constantly question whether I’m doing a good job with Bean. I guess I just kind of felt like when I was finally not pregnant and feeling gross and uncomfortable that she would get her Mommy back. And that really isn’t the case.

Everything we do these days seems like a constant rush. Getting frustrated over her slow eating because I’m on a ticking time bomb schedule for how long Sprout can last in the swing. Not being able to give my full attention as she points to everything thing in sight to ask for its name because I’m trying to comfort the baby that won’t stop screaming.

When I put her down for a nap I simultaneously miss her and feel relieved that there is only one tiny person on me, needing me, taking from me.

Yesterday, even with Stephen here, just using the bathroom felt like a luxury.

I knew this would be a challenge. I knew it would be hard. Heck, once I started showing, I couldn’t go anywhere without at least one person commenting that I had or was going to have my hands full. I just don’t think anything could have completely prepared me for what lay ahead.

I know I’ll get through it. I know this is just a season. Everyone in similar predicaments says when the youngest is about two years old they become the best of friends and life is just peachy. Most days, two seems quite a ways off though and I’m counting down the minutes until 6pm when Stephen gets home from work.


Filed under Family, Parenting

Per Emily’s Request

Feeling a little bored and trying to escape the constant whining of certain household members right now. So I thought I’d put together more ensembles…

Nursing Fashion #2
-AE Stripe Scarf, $19.50
-Expressiva Shirred Scoop Neck Top, $32
-AE 77 Straight Jean, $49.50
-AE Sunrise Sandal, $29.50
-Urban Outfitters Chain Reaction Earings, $18
-Urban Outfitters Rose Hinge Cuff, $24

I like this one because not only do you have the nursing top, but you can also use the scarf as a nursing cover if you suck at being discreet like me. 🙂

Nursing Fashion #7
-AE 77 Straigh Jean, $49.50
-Expressiva Crocheted Medallion Top, $36
-Mossimo Supply Co. Willa Ring Sandals, $14.99
-Urban Outfitters Round Earings, $28
-Urban Outfitters Sabina Half Moon Sachel, $245

Nursing Fashion #6
-Expressiva Couture Keyhole Top, $27.99
-AE Tuxedo Twill Bermuda Shorts, $39.50
-AE Sunrise Sandal, $29.50
-Urban Outfitters Kimchi Blue Double Pocket Tote, $68
-Urban Outfitters Enamel Feather Earings, $18

Nursing Fashion #5
-Expressiva Flirty Ruffle Top, $27.99
-AE Skinny Denim Bermuda, $39.50
-Urban Outfitters Long Leaf Necklace, $28
-Mossimo Supply Co. Willa Ring Sandals, $14.99
-Urban Outfitters Glass Cluster Flower Earings, $16
-Urban Outfitters Sabina Leather Half Moon Sachel, $245

Nursing Fashion #4
-Expressiva Lace Trim Crossover Top, $29
-AE Soft Knit Skirt, $24.50
-AE Stripe Scarf, $19.50
-AE Medallion Espadrilles, $39.50
-Urban Outfitters Art Nouveau Peacock Earings, $18
-Urban Outfitters Sabina Leather Half Moon Sachel, $245

Nursing Fashion #3
-Expressiva Square Neck Top, $29.99
-AE Military Camo Bermuda Short, $39.50
-AE Medallion Espadrilles, $39.50
-Urban Outfitters Kimchi Blue Double Pocket Tote, $68
-Urban Outfitters Hoops with Glass Beads, $18
-Urban Outfitters Triple Leather Bird Charm Bracelet, $28


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Attempts at being fashionable

I am so sick of trying to make my clothes work for me while nursing! I’m clumsy enough as it is without trying to wrangle with my clothing. This is why I can’t just be a discreet nurser and must use a Hooter Hider. Even with that thing though it is still a pain trying to pull stuff up, unzip, etc. while also keeping hold of a squirmy, grabby, and sometimes upset baby.

I always see this nursingwear company on the back of my Mothering magazines and decided to check it out. Some of their stuff was… well… very mom-ish, but here are some of my finds paired with accessories and other items from various stores. For the other items I tired to either find stuff I already have or stuff that was similar to what I already have. I don’t need to go breaking the bank around here. As far as accessories are concerned though, particularly earings, in all honesty I probably won’t be wearing them because Bean is just so darn grabby lately. I like my ears the way they are thank you very much and would not like having them ripped to shreds as an earing in her hand tears through them.

Breastfeeding & Fashion #1

Expressiva Fabulous Tie Top in Golden Olive, $36
AE 77 Straight Jean in Authentic Destroyed Wash, $49.50 Have these jeans, want another pair in a different wash.
Mossimo Supply Co. Willa Ring Sandals, $14.99 These are my new sandals for the summer.
Sabina Leather Half Moon Sachel, $245 (I actually already have a similar bag and it was a gift so it didn’t cost me anything!)
Triple Leather Bird Charm Bracelet, $28
Glass Cluster Flower Earings, $16

I was going to do a bunch of these, but I don’t really have time to play with it and all my other ideas are basically variations on that first one using these tops:
Nursing Tops

(From left to right, top to bottom)
Expressiva Square Neck Top in Blue Radiance, $29.99
Expressiva Lace Trim Cross Over Top in Olive Green, $29
Expressiva Shirred Scoop Neck Top in Coffee Brown, $32
Expressiva Flirty Ruffle Top in Sand, $27.99
Expressiva Crocheted Medalion Top in Wine, $36
Expressiva Couture Kehole Top in Rose Wine, $27.99

So, let me know what you think of my attempts at being fashionable and comfortable while nursing.


Filed under Ramblings

I’m pretty much exhausted.

So five months in I still haven’t figured out how to balance it all.

Some days I manage to get a staggering amount of stuff done. I amaze myself, really.

And then there are days like today where nothing gets done. Which isn’t entirely true. I did manage to go to my chiropractic appointment and run around Target for a bit picking up odds and ends.

It’s always easier for me to do errands outside our house than chores in our house. I think it is because when I’m running around town I usually wear Bean in the sling and she’s very content even if she is having a bad day.

I’ve tried this at home and I wind up with a really sore back and body from carrying around my little chunky monkey. It also isn’t quite the same in being able to get stuff done because so much of the household chores require bending and doing things that you really aren’t supposed to do with a baby in a sling. Plus she’s at the really grabby stage right now which complicates things even further.

Bean has a cold again. Her nose is super stuffy. She’s also had a few fevers so I’ve been giving her some Tylenol. The nose bulb is not working on these tough boogies either. Nursing has not been the best of experiences and because of the cold I stopped solids so she could get more antibodies, but it totally sucks! She pops on and off gasping for air and usually winds up freaking out and then biting me. She also won’t really let me put her down becuase she is just so miserable. Today I had to hold her through her entire 3 hour nap. I’ve been steaming up our bathroom to help things out and then today I ran into Emily and she suggested saline which was a total lifesaver at least in the nursing department. Another friend suggested putting Vicks on my chest while nursing, but I have to say I’m hestitant to try this after reading some stuff about it here on the Internet. So saline it is.

And I don’t know what is worse… getting up a bazillion times to go to the bassinet and comfort Bean throughout the night during the cold (what we did the night before last) or co-sleeping (what we did last night) which means I don’t really sleep at all because it’s too hot and our queen size bed is way too small for three people causing Bean to toss, turn, wimper, and wake up every 10 minutes. Did I mention she is getting to be quite the chunk? Yeah last night I nearly fell out of bed twice because it is just. too. stinking. small.


Filed under Family, Parenting