Tag Archives: schedules

On schedules…

When I say that Bean isn’t on a perfect schedule and that schedules don’t work for us, I’m partially lying.

She is on a very loose schedule.

First of all, she doesn’t always wake up at the same time each day. When she wakes up she’s usually doing the I’m-starving-feed-me-now scream. If that happens at 6:30 our day is on even numbers. If that happens at 7:30 our day is on odd.

And maybe the experts would tell me that we should be consistent and I should be waking her up at 6:30 on the days she wants to sleep in. Well, skip you experts. If she sleeps in until 7:30 I am too and I am going to enjoy every single minute of it.

And just because I’m not on a “schedule” doesn’t mean I’m totally on-demand about feeding either. It’s not like I put her on the boob every 15 minutes.

I would die.

If it hasn’t been at least 2 hours since her last meal I try other things… distraction, changing the diaper, moving to a different room, introducing a new toy, cuddling, etc. I know this is more frequent than some people would feel comfortable with, but I also know it is less frequent than others do. I’ve tried stretching out the feedings (I know most people do four hours at this point) and it just a cryfest that I do not have the temperment for.

This is how our days usually look (for an odd numbered day just shift everything forward one hour)…

6:30am – up for the day and wanting to be fed. I feed her and then change her diaper.
8:30am – Feeding #2
10:30am – We nap for two hours
12:30pm – Lunch (Feeding #3). Bean gets some solids if I’m feeling up to dealing with it, otherwise I just nurse her.
2:30pm – Feeding #4 and nap #2. This one is usually short, but every now and then she surprises me and it is another two hours.
4:30pm – Feeding #5. If she took a short or no nap at 2:30pm she will usually go down for another nap at this point.
6:30pm – Dinner (Feeding #6). If I am not feeling well or feeling rushed with dinner I don’t bother with solids, but she almost always gets them at least at dinner time.
8:30pm – Feeding #7 and bedtime for Bean.

And with the exception of one crazy night in San Diego this weekend she’s been back to only waking 1 or 2 times at night. Usually with at least 4 hour stretches in between. I can live with that.

Oh and on an unrelated note, I miraculously started feeling a little better after our nap today which is glorious. Since then I’ve folded three loads of laundry and washed the guest room linens. But I am starting to feel a little yucky again right now so I’m going to try and have a snack to cut it off early.

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Last post about Sleepless in America, promise

I finished Sleepless in America by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka today.

I must admit the last few chapters I was pretty disenchanted, but I pushed on. Here is my review:

I did like this book. Kurcinka has clearly done her research on sleep. I liked reading about circadian rythm, how a person’s/child’s personality impacts sleep, and how different environmental factors impact sleep.

I do feel like I am walking away from this book with a better knowledge of sleep and how to help my daughter get the sleep she needs.

I also liked that she helps parents approach the process of getting their child to sleep in a gentle and sensitive manner. You aren’t left feeling like you are coddling your child if you help them into sleep. You are not told to leave your child crying desperately for you.

Kurcinka really does a great job of helping you to see the problem of sleep from your child’s eyes and reminding you that they are a little person just like you.

That said, there were some negatives to the book.

Kurcinka claims that we should take what works for our family and throw out the rest.

However, her entire strategy seems to revolve around a schedule. I know that I am not alone in being the parent of a child that refuses to have perfect and predictable schedule. There has to be some other way to get your child to have good sleep.

So I guess I’m left with taking her advice and holding onto the tips that will usher my child gently into sleep and tossing the doesn’t-work-no-matter-how-hard-I-try schedule out the window.

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Filed under Literary Love, Parenting, Reviews

Week Thirty One

Dear Bean,

Sometimes it is easy to forget how quickly your world is changing around you.

Your auntie was just here for a couple of days which you loved.

I think she summed it up best, “She’s so different. Last time I saw her she could barely sit up on her own. Now she’s saying ‘mama’ and ‘papa’, crawling, rolling around, and taking steps when she holds onto your fingers.”

Yep, that’s right. You are taking steps now!

In the last few days I’ve made quite a big change around here too. I put you on a schedule. While I still think that on demand feeding has its merits, especially in the beginning to get supply up, I was just having a hard time not having a schedule now that you are a little older. Some days I felt tied to the couch all day and was constantly wondering if your cries were actually from hunger or just that you needed some comfort or something to do.

Our schedule really isn’t all that different from what you did on a typical day. You had already worked yourself into a schedule of a morning nap around 10:30 and an afternoon nap around 2:30. But sometimes I was letting you sleep too much during the day (3-4 hour stretches) or you weren’t napping at all. If we were out running errands and you were distracted you would go several hours without eating some days, but other days you were eating every half hour if we were home and you were bored.

Then thrush came along and all that snacking was really getting to me and hurting like heck.

So I’ve made this decision for us. This is not typical of me. I don’t like having time commitments because they generally make me worry and freak out if something doesn’t go completely according to plan. I’m starting to realize though that I do need a little bit of structure in my day. I like knowing where the hours go and being able to say at the end of the day that I did this, this and this instead of always feeling like nothing got done.

I will admit that there have been some tears shed on your part over it. I’m sorry about that. You do seem to be getting used to it though even after only a few days.

Another thing I like about the schedule is that instead of just handing you off to me if you are upset, your papa is taking a much more active role in entertaining and comforting you because he knows that you really did just eat and that you don’t need to eat again until your next feeding time.

I’m not sure if this will fix our night waking problem, you are still doing that quite a bit, but it will at least give my day a little more structure and let me plan when I can get things done.

Anyway, that is our latest adventure in the parent child relationship. I am sure there will be many more to come.

I love you munchie,

Mama

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