Tag Archives: weddings

This should make up for the next 10 days or so…

I have so much to write about, I guess I’ll try and start from a beginning of sorts… my jam packed Labor Day weekend.

Friday afternoon Stephen got off work early and we packed up the van to head to Bakersfield. We barely made it in time for our hair cut appointments with our favorite hair guy.

Then we headed over to the Bakersfield Museum of Art for my best friend’s wedding rehearsal followed by dinner at the Bakersfield favorite, La Costa. We definitely got to sit at the cool table that night and met some really interesting people that were also in the wedding party. After that we went to Target for some random stuff like another sippy cup for Bean because I forgot to bring any with us. Then we finally got to Stephen’s parent’s house to crash for the night.

The next morning we hung out for a little while then went to the mall to get my friend a wedding gift. I am the queen of last minute things lately. Then back to the house so my sister could do my hair before I headed over to the museum. During this time Stephen’s mom was playing with Bean and threw out her back trying to be silly with her. Stephen dropped me off at the museum where I got ready with the bride and did the picture thing.

Oh and pretty crazy was the fact that my best friend had chosen the same dress I did for her wedding day that I had worn almost to the day six years ago (our anniversary was the next day). It was very surreal for me seeing her in the dress, especially on my anniversary.

Stephen came back dressed up with Jillian and the wedding started. The ceremony was beautiful and fun. We did more pictures then had some yummy food. Pretty much everyone in the room has some connection to the news industry and a couple of our newsie friends made an awesome “news story” video about the couple. Then they shared their first dance.

And just minutes after this photo was taken…

Bean went into total meltdown mode because it was about 2.5 hours past her bedtime. So we had to cut out of the wedding a little early.

The next day we got up bright and early to head to Sequoia National Forest to do a little “hiking” (the path was paved and very flat) on our anniversary.

The last time I visited Sequoia was about 15 years ago, but Stephen had never been. The place has completely changed since I was last there so it was very unfamiliar and a little disorienting to me because I can still visualize the old parking lot and visitor center which have all been ripped out to make things better for the environment. There were mobs of people in the park that day. We couldn’t even get a parking space over by the General Sherman Tree hike so we just headed out of the park.

We drove to Fresno to hang out with our good friends Paul and Brooke (both were in our wedding and it was Brooke’s birthday). They made us dinner and as usual our time with them flew by with great conversations about church, politics, life, careers, parenting and all kinds of other stuff. I so wish they lived closer again because that used to be a weekly to monthly occurance with them and I miss it so much! We drove back to Bakersfield late that night.

Monday we went out meet up with our renter and see our house before heading back home. We got everything unpacked, started laundry and then headed over to my sister-in-law’s house to work out details of what will be occupying the next 10 days…

Since my MIL threw her back out, she won’t be able to watch Bean’s cousins while their parents are in Norway. So we volunteered to take up that task. I’m actually kind of excited about it. Ruth is quite the extraordinary planner and as such watching her girls will be busy, but organized and full of fun. 🙂

Anyway, I doubt I’ll be posting much (or maybe I will, who knows) and wanted to explain my absence before dropping off the the radar.

Oh and a couple more things…

I am still slowly working on the boy blanket for my sister’s friend. I’ve got all the knitting done, just sewing the panels together now and then on to the backing and border…

I totally love it and might be tempted to keep it for our baby boy. 🙂

Also, Bean will be 50 weeks old tomorrow…

Her appetite is still ridiculous and as such she has decided that the snack trap is her new BFF. She is very posessive of the snack trap, so even when I take it away to refill it, this is what happens:

Dropping the morning feeding has made things so much better around here. I’m still dealing with biting, but not nearly as much. So I’m debating whether to drop another feeding this week or just keep working on the biting issue with the ones that remain.

She’s also getting a little braver with walking. Last night she took a few steps without even being coaxed to do so! She also seems to prefer it, at least while holding on to stuff for now, over crawling the last couple days. So I know she’s right on the cusp of being a full time walker.

Anyway, that about sums things up.

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Something happier…

I wish I was getting married again so I could have these:

From Jamball on Etsy.

From Rainsend on Etsy.

Oh and an amazing video like this from our friend John.

I love weddings. Luckily I’m going to one next week.

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What I’ve learned about love and romance

A good friend of mine that I have not seen in far too long is getting married in May and I’ve been invited to the bridal shower this Saturday. I received the invitation in the mail about a week ago and it is just as cute as can be. The theme of the shower is romance, I was given all the details about the bride’s sizes and favorite scents. I was also told where she is registered.

Yesterday as I went go buy a gift I was really perplexed about what I should do. The be-excited-for-your-friend-where-she-is-at-now side of me just wanted to get her some fun lingerie and maybe a candle or two. The almost-been-married-five-years side of me wanted to get something practical from the registry.

First of all I can hardly believe that I’ve been married almost 5 years. It really doesn’t seem like it to me. It has gone by so fast. I have learned a lot though and I usually find that learning a lot takes time. Lots of time. So I suppose I really have been married 5 years.

The whole thing sparked up a thought process in me that I have not been able to shake.

Over the years, especially when I was newly married, I would find myself holding Stephen to these unspoken expectations of what was romantic. I would get upset because he didn’t leave love notes for me or spontaneously bring home flowers “just because.” I never communicated that these were my expectations. I would just get mad and stew over it.

I think this year was finally the year that broke that for me. I remember it distinctly because I was watching The Today Show the day before Valentine’s Day. The anchors and their guests were discussing the various things that people should be doing for their loved ones — what kind of flowers were in and what was meant by them, what lingerie, the perfect chocolates, how to create the perfect romantic evening. It occured to me that morning that the vast majority of The Today Show audience is women. So what they were essentially doing is creating an expectation in their viewers that unles your husband/partner/fiance/boyfriend/etc. does X, Y, and Z he does not really love you or care about these romantic things which are important to you. All the while these partners are not watching the show and don’t know that they are being held to this expectation of what they should be doing to prove their love.

The notion didn’t necessarily break for me because I saw the logic there, it broke because I had started to realize that what they were marketing to the viewers was not love or romance.

Flowers wilt and die pretty quickly, candles get burned up, you find out that romantic dinners aren’t so romantic when everyone in Bakersfield is at the same place you chose causing a 1-2 hour wait, and after a couple wearings lingerie gets shoved into the back of a drawer. And for that matter, it has been my experience that the lingerie is more about us girls than the guys. Take it from me, at 4.5 months pregnant I’m starting to feel huge already and on days when I don’t feel that great I stay in my PJs all day. Yet somehow when I feel at my ugliest, my husband still manages to find me physically attractive. I don’t need lace and silk and feathers — which just make me feel ridiculous anyway — I just need to be me and that is enough for him.

So then what is love and romance? It’s having someone to hold your hair out of your face and rub your back when you can’t stop puking. It’s staying up all night in the ER with you even though work starts the next morning at 8 am. It’s having an advocate who stands up for you when you can’t stand up for yourself. It’s someone who doesn’t hold it against you that you didn’t manage to make dinner that day even though there was no real reason you couldn’t. It’s someone who holds you together when you think you are at your breaking point. It’s someone who encourages you to keep trying when you don’t think you can anymore. It’s someone who sticks by your side when the world seems to be falling apart. It’s a quiet Valentine’s evening at home eating Taco Bell for dinner in front of the TV and celebrating the fact that you didn’t throw up that day.

I could probably go on, but I think you get the idea.

It has also been my experience that 5 years in you wish that your girlfriends hadn’t spent hundreds of dollars on lingerie and would have instead pitched in together to get you the KitchenAid stand mixer so you can make yourself some Ghiradelli brownies without straining your arm when you’re having a bad day.
So after all this turmoil within me I think I came to a good compromise for my two sides: some kitchen tools from her registry and a copy of Healthy Cooking for Two (or Just You) (I tried to find a cookbook title with more romance in it, but Border’s cookbook selection wasn’t that great in this department) in a nice basket with red rose petals and some candles. Everything she needs to cook up a romantic dinner for two.

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